Saiyans and the Internet Don't mix
by coumarin-chan
Summary: COMPLETE! Goku has wished back his brother after the Majin buu incident. Now, he's training Raditz to reach the level of a super saiyan. What alternative methods does the brain damaged saiyan use to achieve this?
1. The road to super saiyan

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z and all that. **

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**Saiyans and the Internet don't mix**

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It was a peaceful evening on Mt. Paozu. The Son family plus its new member were now relaxing after a feast of a meal. Or at least it looked that way to human eyes. With two full blood Saiyans and two half – Saiyans, a feast fit for a king equaled a small meal to them.

Since the Majin Buu incident, Goku had gotten bored. A year later, he wished his older brother Raditz back to life deciding it would be fair to let him have another shot at life now that Earth seemed to be pretty safe. The younger of the two… or technically speaking even though Raditz was brought back to life at the same age he died… had been training with the larger Saiyan ready for the next Budokai. Raditz had yet to attain the Super saiyan level otherwise he wouldn't stand much chance against the others entering the competition.

Goku blinked at his older brother, his head tilting to one side. He had progressed far, but was still missing that spark that would help him ascend to the level of a Super Saiyan. The younger saiyan had opted for a night surfing the web. It had become a small hobby besides training, eating and fishing.

"Goku!" Chi-chi's voice snapped the saiyan out of his musings causing him to jump a foot into the air. "Can you help me clear the table please?" She carried on in a quieter tone.

"Uh Sure Chi-chi!" Goku replied scratching the back of his head nervously. He quickly stacked some plates and dishes on his head, as well as carrying two piles, one in each hand. Raditz sweatdropped as his brother hobbled into the kitchen with the plates tilting on the pile dangerously. He zipped into the kitchen just in time to catch a pile of falling crockery, rescuing it from the certain fate of being shattered into thousands of pieces.

After stacking the plates in a safe position in the kitchen Raditz padded into the living area. He hopped over the back of the sofa, landing laying sideways on it. Both his nephew's were currently engrossed in a friendly fighting game the match was pretty close, though eventually Goten won. The youngest of the family whooped for joy declaring his victory over his brother.

An hour later the man known as Son Goku was sitting at Gohan's old computer, which they had upgraded as well as having an internet connection installed. The Saiyan sat in front of the screen, a maniacal look of utter glee in his obsidian eyes.

"BWAAAHAAHAAHAAHAHAAAAA!" He tossed his head back with the maniacal laughter.

Chichi stared up at the ceiling in dismay "Maybe bringing his brother back to life wasn't such a great idea."

Raditz blinked, staring up at the ceiling. A feeling of dread clutched at his heart like icy fingers. After a moment he shook off the feeling, coming his fingers though the mass of spikes. "I swear that felt like I'm in big trouble…" he mumbled.

Seconds later, a composed and overly happy looking Son Goku appeared in the doorway with a grin on his face. Both Gohan and Goten stared at their father. It wasn't a normal grin; it was an 'I'm up to something really naughty' grin'. He approached the sofa, and then poked the brown tail that was twitching in the air. The owner of that tail sat up, staring at him suspiciously.

"What is it ototochan?"

"I found something interesting on the internet." He grinned "Will you come and look? It's simply brilliant!"

Raditz perked a brow at his little brother's odd behavior then shrugged "Alright, I guess it can't hurt me." He mumbled to himself

"Yeah! Come on 'niichan!" Raditz found himself almost literally being dragged up the stairs. By courtesy of his little brother, he was now sitting in front of the computer screen that has a Christmassy theme.

"The snowy weather has made the windows frost over! You have to try and wipe off the frost to reveal the secrets of the season. Have fun, and a Merry Christmas." A female voice said. Raditz lifted a brow clicking the 'Play' button. Lord knows that his brother would probably start whining if he didn't.

The game started with an animated hand rubbing around the 'frosted window' there were trees… or what Raditz assumed to be trees in the background. Occasionally a figure in red would pop up in the background as he tried to wipe off the frost as the instructions indicated. The elder saiyan frowned in concentration as he tried to get rid of the frost, only to have the biggest scare of his life.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The sound of a window smashing and a woman's scream hit his sensitive eardrums. An undead blood covered skull with beady green eyes dressed in a Santa suit popped up armed with a bloody axe.

"IEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Raditz screamed as well, his hair bursting into a golden flame. He jumped out f his skin, glomping onto his brother's head. Frightened green eyes then rolled back in their sockets as the large saiyan fainted from the mass shock.

Goku nudged the unconscious saiyan with a foot, sweatdropping. "I guess it worked a little too well."

"Ung…" Raditz slowly sat up… just as the rest of the Son family burst into the room.

"Goku what's going on!" Chichi looked around the room frantically, fearing for her husband's life. On assessing the situation, the larger of the two saiyans looked the worse for wear, one hand still over his heart. Goten walked over to his uncle, patting him on the back of the hand.

"Oh wow! You're a super saiyan too!"

"Huh?" Raditz glanced at his nephew, only to catch the sight of the evil Santa that nearly sent him back to otherworld. He twitched slightly.

Goten pushed his uncle over to a mirror in the corner of the room then grinned "See look! Golden hair and green eyes!"

Chichi looked around again, putting her hands on her hips "If everyone is fine then who was doing all the screaming?" She stared at Goku, who started to sweat nervously. By now Raditz had figured out how to power down from super saiyan, even though he was still twitching from the shock that he'd gotten. It was amazing what dumb things humans put up on the internet that intended to shorten ones life –span.

"Umm I was … helping 'niichan become a super saiyan!" Goku answered lamely, earning a glare from his brother. The largest saiyan turned to Chichi with a sigh.

"Well I can't say that he was lying, but his methods are a little bizarre."

Chichi was about to reply when Goku tapped Raditz on the shoulder, grinning again. The elder saiyan turned around just in time for the computer to scream at him again. Within a nanosecond he'd powered up to super saiyan letting out a high pitched scream that rivaled the females. After five seconds of this, golden locks bled back to their regular black as the large saiyan passed out in a dead- faint.

Gohan and Goten were now twitching, along with Chichi.

"Sometimes I think that you hit your head too hard as a child." Chichi mumbled while shaking her head. Son Goku laughed merrily switching off the computer. The newly restored moon shone through the window into the room, highlighting the features of the unconscious saiyan.

The night was cool, not uncomfortably so and all the woodland animals were resting. Tranquility bathed Mt. Paozu like a mother would a child, tender and soothing. That was until…

"KAKAROTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yipe!" The mentioned saiyan flew into the night, now extra crispy, outrunning the largest firefly that any ecologist could record.

Ahh yes, a normal day in the life of the Son family.

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**_End_**

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Ok, I'll admit, I was very bored when I wrote this. You can visit this site by going to my profile. It will be right at the bottom. Please r&r and let me know ifi should stop writing these fics: ) 


	2. Raditz gets his revenge

**Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or anything that resembles it.

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**Saiyans and the internet don't mix**

_**Part 2 – Raditz' Revenge**_

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Golden rays shimmered through the lavender clouds of the early morning, highlighting the hemi-spherical shape of the main Capsule Corporation building. It was a peaceful morning, blue birds chirping as they bathed in one of the Brief's luxury bird baths.

A lone figure made its way across the garden toward the main house, rubbing its eyes tiredly. If one looked close enough, they could just make out the mane of spiky hair that almost trailed behind the figure. He reached the side door to the main house, and was just about to turn the handle when the doors flung themselves open.

"RADDITZU! YOU'RE LATE!" A heavy male voice boomed only centimetres from the first figure. The mini-hurricane and sonic boom produced from the smaller man caused the mane of hair to puff up and stick out, rather like a hedgehog. The larger saiyan, known as Raditz, scratched his head in dismay. There was only one explanation that he agreed to move into Capsule Corporation, ok maybe there were two…

The first reason being; that he could escape his brother's insane methods of training…and reason two being he wanted to find out all the tricks that the Prince now used in battle. It would help him in the future Budokai tournaments. There was a third reason, but it didn't count on his part. Vegeta had practically dragged the eldest saiyan back to Capsule Corporation after realising that he'd basically 'defeated Kakarotto' very easily.

The maned saiyan shook his head as the lecture continued. It wasn't something that he was unused to, having to deal with the temperamental prince for most of the younger saiyan's adolescent years.

"I've missed a whole hour's training waiting on your lazy backside! You're not fit to be in the presence of royalty, now get moving!" The short saiyan prince bounced behind the elder saiyan, shoving him at super-saiyan speed toward the Gravity Room. One inside, he pounced upon the controls, setting it immediately to five hundred times earth's natural gravity.

Raditz immediately found his body weighing well over five tons. A lot of the weight was concentrated in the dorsal direction of his body. Very few people realise exactly how much hair can weigh until they were subject to heavy gravity. The large saiyan burst into super-saiyan mode to help ease the tremendous weight he was bearing.

A whistle cut through the dense gravity, causing the elder saiyan to jump. Poor Raditz barely had time to dodge the punch aimed at the side of his head.

'_It's definitely going to be one of those days'_ the larger saiyan thought, just in time to get slammed into the wall of the gravity room.

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A little while later, a rather bruised and bloody first class saiyan was scarfing down a late breakfast, while keeping one eye wary of his prince. Vegeta had basically mopped the floor with the poor warrior and it was obvious that the saiyan prince still had a lot of pent up energy. 

"Why don't you just call Kakarotto out for a spar?" Raditz suggested after getting glared at for the one hundredth time that morning.

"For once you have a useful idea." Vegeta scoffed before reaching for the phone. Bulma wandered into the kitchen, fully suited up for a day full of board meetings. She frowned at the sight of the prince mouthing off at Goku at such an early hour. The commotion he made over Raditz waking up too late had woken her up. The blue haired scientist was not pleased, not pleased at all.

Vegeta hung up on the younger sleepy saiyan, just in time to catch a briefcase to the head.

"Onna!" The prince squealed, holding his cranium delicately where it throbbed with pain. Humans, as he discovered, didn't need to be powerful to cause trouble, or minor pain. Bulma, at first, was a bit cautious of the large saiyan staying within the Capsule Corporation grounds. However, it seemed that this situation only seemed to inflate Vegeta's ego to no end.

"Vegeta, be nice, otherwise I'll deactivate the Gravity room AND you can sleep on the couch for the next month. I swear." She threw her arms up in exasperation "I'll be back this evening."

"But…" The door slammed shut, leaving a saiyan prince doing his best goldfish impression. Raditz snickered quietly at the situation, only to cop a death glare from Vegeta. The larger saiyan gulped, excusing himself from the table.

The prince of the Saiyans took a moment to admire his handiwork. Yes, he was in charge once again, seen as he finally had at least one subject that respected his superior. The short saiyan threw back his head, laughing in a semi-insane fashion. He raked his fingers through the flame of hair before blasting off over the horizon to beat up on the saiyan known as Kakarotto.

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Raditz sat at his desk later staring at the screen with an almost impish look on his face. It was less than two months ago when Goku had scared him into becoming a super saiyan. A large grin graced his features as he stared at the prize information, or rather websites that he had found. Ah, yes he'd get his revenge… and in a way which meant that he couldn't get beaten up in the process. 

During his boredom, he'd been searching the internet. Of course out of experimentation, he'd started to put people's names into the search. After doing a little more digging, something interesting had appeared. There were several sites with "yaoi" content. He'd soon learnt that this meant relationships between two males. Somehow, the popular content of many sites was Vegeta/Goku (Kakarotto). The large saiyan rubbed his hands in glee, knowing that this relationship was NOT true… but he could torture both of them for giving him several heart attacks since he had been wished back to life.

"Heh… Let's see you talk your way out of this one… if either of you actually stay conscious…"

Raditz took to the air snickering like a ten year old on Halloween.

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Goku and Vegeta were sprawled out over the grass near the Son residence. Both were battered and bruised, however extremely satisfied. They'd been sparring for a good five hours straight giving both saiyans the exercise they needed for all the excess energy reserves they had. 

A large shadow loomed over the pair as a familiar walking hairball peeked down at the two younger saiyans.

"I take it you enjoyed your little 'spar'?" Raditz asked, with a small grin smothered on his face.

"What's it to you?" Vegeta hissed, bouncing to his feet. The large saiyan turned his back to the prince with a nonchalant shrug.

"I just found out some rather tasty information about you two."

"WHAT!" Goku and Vegeta shrieked, glanced at each other for a moment then back to the taller saiyan, only to find that Raditz had vacated the area. Goku whipped his head around, looking at the house suspiciously. After a few moments, the brain damaged saiyan struck a pose, pointing to a room on the first floor of the house.

"He's up there!"

"Well don't just stand there, baka! After him!"

Vegeta swatted the larger saiyan across the head before charging into the house. Chichi was humming quietly, preparing food for supper when one short blue blur followed by a larger orange blur sped through the kitchen and up the stairs. Nature took a few moments to rearrange itself along with all the kitchen contents. She twitched, looking at the kitchen that spontaneously fell apart as soon as she breathed.

Upstairs, Vegeta and Goku had cornered the largest saiyan with his laptop. He'd just sent E-mail to both Bulma and Chichi with links to the various Yaoi sites that he'd found. Unfortunately he now had to face the music.

"So what was oh so 'tasty' piece of information you found out?" Vegeta advanced on the larger saiyan trying to look at the laptop which was obviously the source of the information. Goku stood off to one side scratching his head.

"I thought you hated computers since…." Raditz paused in what he was doing to glare evilly at his little brother, his tail fluffing up to three times its normal size. Goku lifted his hands and chuckled nervously "Nevermind…"

A few minutes later, a smug Raditz had organised a series of sites full of NC- 17 images of Goku and Vegeta.

"I'll leave you two to it. It's quite self explanatory." With a hasty wave, the large saiyan made his escape… through the nearest window. Which happened to be closed. Raditz sweatdropped as he shook glass shards from his hair. '_I hope Chichi doesn't notice any time soon._' He thought with a nervous twitch.

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Goku sat down in front of the laptop, blinking cluelessly. "It can't be anything too bad…" He mused while maximising a few of the windows that his brother had left open deliberately. Several things happened at once. 

The orange clad saiyan let out a shriek of terror while turning tomato red. He sprang from the small wooden chair, darting around the room holding his eyes. "It burn's it burns! It's not true! It's not!" After several moments of acting like he was being branded by hundreds of hot pokers, Goku's heart finally gave out and the large saiyan collapsed in a dead faint.

Unfortunately, this saiyan was particularly heavy, thus the floor gave way sending the larger saiyan crashing down to the ground floor, landing on the already destroyed kitchen table. Vegeta lifted a brow at the abnormal behaviour.

"Coward, what could be so…. S-s-so…" The prince caught a glimpse of one maximised image. All the synapses in his brain fired at once, overloading his brain. The shorter saiyan also fell victim to unconsciousness, not even bothering to comprehend how such material had been available publicly.

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**_Several days later..._**

"Vegeta, I need a word with you." Bulma looked up from her coffee calmly, not offering the saiyan prince the luxury of escaping this confrontation. She dragged the short saiyan into an office where one of her internet ready computers stood, with the dreaded NC-17 images maximised on screen.

"I got this the other day. Care to explain?" The blue haired scientist tapped her fingers on the desk irritably. Vegeta went through several shades of red before he got control of his fear, and then channelled the energy towards his anger. The temperamental prince threw back his head, bursting into super saiyan mode before screaming.

"RADDITZUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

A certain first class saiyan looked up from his laptop in the general direction of Capsule Corporation, glad that he was not within range of the saiyan prince.

'_Yes revenge is truly sweet' _Raditz thought in delight.

One lesson to all, never underestimate a saiyan.

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**_End Part 2_**

Well how was it? I have an idea for a third and final part. If i get good reviews then I'll go ahead with it.

Turles: Please don't I dont wanna suffer too

Tough. Bwaahahaaa.


	3. Revival of Turles

**Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. Don't sue me.****

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**Saiyans and the internet don't mix**

**Part 3 – Enter Turles … and his fan club!**

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Peace once again reigned over the Earth. It had been only a fortnight since Raditz had extracted his revenge upon his brother. Unfortunately this had lead to the humiliation of the saiyan Prince also, which resulted in a few broken bones for the eldest saiyan. Vegeta was sick of the lack of respect from the two brothers. Yesterday he'd summoned Shenron to his bidding and had restored the life of a saiyan called Turles (it was the only name that Goku could come up with other than Nappa and well, we ALL know what happened to him.) 

"Turles! Bring me lemonade now!" The prince barked from his gravity room. A rather peeved, tanned Goku-clone sauntered out from the back entrance of Capsule Corporation carrying a chilled can of the desired fluid. He paused outside the gravity room door, pulling the evilest glare he could muster across his features. The door swung open, launching the poor saiyan part – way across the Brief's garden. Turles slowly stood up, rubbing the bruise on his forehead. Miraculously, the can of lemonade was in mint condition.

"I'll have you know I'm NOT your personal servant." He muttered as the can was snatched from his grasp. He wiggled his fingers for a few seconds wondering what had happened. A quick glance in Vegeta's direction brought a new frown to the Goku-esque saiyan's face.

"Oh Turles, I don't know about that." Vegeta snickered, pointing to the taller saiyan.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!" Turles let out a girlish scream. Over his regular training gi (That Goku had provided) was a frilly pink apron with the words "Vegeta's personal servant" printed on the front in fluffy white letters. A vein bulged on the side of his head as he ripped the offensive piece of clothing from his body.

"Heheheehhee…." Vegeta chuckled quietly between slurps from the can. He was obviously enjoying the situation, which only infuriated Turles that much more. The taller saiyan promptly stalked off into the house, sulking to himself. It was going to be one of those days where the slightest thing would set him off.

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_Elsewhere…_

"Ahaahaahaaa….BWAAHAAHAAAHAAA!" A huge figure stood in front of a large computer terminal, watching two almost identical figures go about their business. He growled at the one in bright orange, before a cruel smirk tightened his features.

"No matter… I shall get my revenge… I am cleverer than even my father expected… now that the infernal device was sent to the next dimension… and after extensive therapy!" The figure turns toward the imaginary audience, flashing a brief, but very Goku-esque grin.

The figure drew up a screen of HTML rubbing his hands together with delight. The final stages of his plan had been set into motion. Now all he had to do was sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

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One week after the "Vegeta's personal servant" Incident Turles had been reluctant to remain in the same room as the saiyan prince. Weird things always seemed to happen, completely random in nature which naturally caused the taller saiyan to panic. 

This was nothing compared to the events that would follow. That fateful day, a letter arrived in the Capsule Corporation mail, addressed to Turles. He lifted a brow sleepily as he sifted through the rest of the mail finding nothing else other queries to the company itself. Turles plopped himself down on the sofa with a glass of orange juice. He'd refused to drink the slop that they called coffee since it made him feel like someone had just forced a whole cup of sugar down his throat.

His fingers worked clumsily at the seal of the envelope, all the training he'd been doing recently really started to take its toll on his body. It didn't help that Trunks had decided it was fun to wake the tired full blood up early. Turles finally managed to free the letter from the envelope, the page was covered in what seemed to be a teenage girl's handwriting, small and neat. His eyes popped open as his brain finally started decoding the meaning of the squiggles into recognisable words.

'**Dear Turles-sama**

**I wrote this letter just to express how wonderful you are. We have been plagued by that moron Hercule and as the club site states, your clone! Insert picture of a goofy looking Goku here**

**We all adore you Turles-sama!**

**(Insert random female name here)**'

"What the?" Turles scratched his head at the odd letter "A letter of admiration…How did they even know where I live let alone who I am?" He looked over the sheet of paper for another address that he could reply to the rather strange girl that decided to write to him. After reading the letter again, a thought slammed into his brain like a ten ton truck.

"'We'? Oh no…" Turles pondered "Does this mean that MORE people might have heard about this 'site'?"

"You should go see a doctor, Turles." A voice cut through the panicked Saiyan's thoughts. Turles' head whipped up in the direction of the voice, only to pout a little at the owner.

"I don't need to see any baka doctor, Vegeta."

"Then how do you explain talking to yourself?"

"I'm having a moment of paranoia." Turles replied coolly. He casually screwed up the letter, tossing it into the waste basket. The strange letter was soon forgotten after hours of training and the prospect of food.

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Three days later, Bulma Briefs was out colleting the mail. She simply opened the letter box, when a fountain of mail erupted from the deceptively small looking mailbox. A blue head popped out of the mound of mail, looking rather exasperated. She picked up several of the letters, on close inspection, they were addressed to Turles. In fact ninety percent of the mail that morning was addressed to the Goku-esque saiyan. 

Bulma sighed as a couple of servant robots helped her carry the mountain of mail into the kitchen. The stack was left on the kitchen table, causing Trunks and Goten to gawk at the sheer volume of paper sitting in front of them.

"Mom!" Trunks exclaimed.

Vegeta chose that moment in time to sleepily waddle into the kitchen. He grunted at the demi- saiyans before settling at the table. It took the saiyan prince a full minute to register that he was unable to see Bulma on the other side of the kitchen, who was currently sorting out the mail. Vegeta's eyes popped open, staring at the mountain of mail blocking his vision.

"Onna! What's all this junk!" He extended his index finger, prodding the pile – which quivered a little as if it was ready to fall apart. The short saiyan twitched moving his hand away from the mail.

"Well… it seems most of it is addressed to Turles… I don't know how or why anyone would send him mail…" Bulma shrugged, returning to sorting everyone else's mail from Turles'

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Turles stretched, arching his back off the bed while his limbs splayed out in all directions. He'd had a peaceful night's sleep and no brats waking him up at all hours. The lanky saiyan rolled out of bed, scratching his head sleepily with one hand, while scratching his stomach with the other. Unfortunately, he wasn't paying attention to the duvet which was tangled up around his legs. Turles stood up, intent on opening the blinds; he didn't make it that far. He hit the ground with a sickening thud, managing to tear the blind from its bracket above the window.

"Ouch…" He muttered

"OH MY GOD THERE HE IS!" An excited female voice chirped from outside

"Eh?" Turles stood up, fighting off the offensive duvet. His eyes nearly popped out of his skull when he spotted a dozen people camped out near his window. There was a small news crew with them, as well as some photographers. The group burst into life, taking footage and snapping pictures.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!" Turles screamed in a rather feminine tone. He looked down at his current state of undress.

"IIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

He paled, picking up the offensive duvet. Turles cocooned himself in the plush material, fleeing the room like he was being attacked by a swarm of killer bees. The saiyan bounced down the stairs in groups of five, literally falling into the kitchen. Four heads turned toward the lump that was now quivering on the floor. Trunks slid from his seat, gently nudging the large saiyan with a foot.

"I wonder what got into him…" Bulma raised a brow as Vegeta managed to wrestle the larger saiyan from the duvet.

"Cameras….people… don't let them take more…" Turles was curled up on the kitchen floor, shaking his head back and forth while shivering. Vegeta twitched in annoyance, slapping some sense into the Goku-esque saiyan – quite literally!

"Pull yourself together, you're a disgrace!" Vegeta shook Turles "Now what the heck is going on!"

"There were people camping outside my window…" Turles started "They had cameras, and there was even a news crew there…" The larger saiyan stared off into space, occasionally twitching at some horrific visions flowing through his over – active imagination.

Bulma cocked her head to one side looking thoughtful. After a few moments, the blue haired scientist turned towards the living area.

"I say we see what the news has to say." For a moment she looked lost, then snapped her fingers "Oh yeah, there's some mail for you Turles."

"Huh?" He glanced around, spotting Goten pointing to a large heap of letters on the kitchen table, all addressed to him. "Haahaaa… I'm… going to see what's on the news…" He zipped into the living room after Bulma.

_**Flashback**_

_Turles finally managed to free the letter from the envelope, the page was covered in what seemed to be a teenage girl's handwriting, small and neat. His eyes popped open as his brain finally started decoding the meaning of the squiggles into recognisable words._

'_**Dear Turles-sama**_

_**I wrote this letter just to express how wonderful you are. We have been plagued by that moron Hercule and as the club site states, your clone! Insert picture of a goofy looking Goku here**_

_**We all adore you Turles-sama!**_

_**(Insert random female name here)**'_

"_What the?" Turles scratched his head at the odd letter "A letter of admiration…_

_**End flashback**_

"This is not funny any more." Turles whined, curling up on the sofa quietly. The TV flickered into life as everyone intently waited for the latest headlines on the news. Ten minutes passed until the headlines were repeated.

"**The latest craze. Many people remember Son Goku from the World Martial arts tournaments in the past. Recently, a website appeared containing information on a person known as Turles, rumoured to be a relation to this competitor. This website promoted the disclosure of personal information against Son Goku and in favour of this 'Turles' character. Riots have been breaking out all over the country as young women and some young men have been inspired by this website. With us today is the creator of the site, Mr. Broly." The TV announcer turned to his left to show a rather large figure with a tail dressed in a clean navy suit. **

"BROLY!" Vegeta hissed, immediately jumping up on the sofa with a hiss.

"**It's good to be here…" Broly squinted at the man's name tag "Bob."**

"**Is there any particular reason why you created such an influential website? Many parents across the country are complaining of the new craze."**

"**Why yes I do, Bob." Broly folded his arms "You see, this 'Son Goku', also known as Kakarotto by a few people, caused me great mental damage. As a young child, I went insane with anger. It has taken a long time to undo the damage inflicted on my innocent mind. It's also been very expensive. The person that caused this is none other than Son Goku. I feel that he was praised way too much on this planet and I thought the earthlings might appreciate the appearance of someone like him, but with better qualities." **

Turles started to twitch "So the reason he did this was to get back at Kakarotto… but what about the mental trauma its going to leave ME with!" He exclaimed, putting his head under a cushion. Goten gently patted the large saiyan on the back, reassuringly.

"It's ok Uncle Turles. We'll help you through it." The chibi announced confidently.

"**Mr.Broly thank you. In other news-" **The TV was cut off by Bulma hitting standby.

"Well at least he isn't trying to blow up the planet…" She said optimistically. Turles just groaned, sinking into the sofa. His life had just got a heck of a lot worse than it already had been.

* * *

_Three weeks later…_

"I don't see why I have to come..." Raditz whined, glaring at the shorter saiyan. The other was constantly glancing around, nervously. It had been three weeks since the latest 'Turles' craze went nationwide on national television. The Z- fighters had decided not to fight Broly, seen as he was taking peaceful methods to extract his revenge on Goku.

"You're here, in case some of those damn fan girls turn up." Turles growled at the larger saiyan, sticking close to his side. Bulma had decided that the Goku-esque saiyan needed to get out more since the scare. Unfortunately no one believed him when he complained about people sleeping outside his window, randomly appearing and snapping pictures while he was doing regular every-day things. His current mission was to pick up a few groceries for the barbeque that evening.

The two saiyans turned the corner, now close to their destination. Turles started to hop from foot to foot, wishing that Raditz would walk a little faster. He was nervous about being in public.

"OH MY GOSH THERE HE IS! IT'S TURLES!" A loud feminine voice pierced the air, causing an ice wave of dread to break down his spine. Turles slowly turned around, spotting a large crowd of girls, all wearing or carrying Turles memorabilia.

"What… the? Oh yeah! I remember hearing about that on TV!" Raditz' tail wagged as he remembered the numerous reports covered by the national news since the whole Turles fan club started. The larger saiyan paused, noticing the girls starting to eye him, as well as the frozen Turles.

"I wonder who that is?" said one

"He kind of looks like Turles-sama… but he has more hair." Another mused

"They're probably related… Oh yeah! I remember, the latest update was that this 'Radish' guy is related to that other Turles –clone." A third bounced up and down excitedly. There was the synchronous sound of camera's being prepared. Both saiyans started to twitch.

"I'd love to stay, but it seems you have company." Raditz grinned sheepishly. He blasted into super saiyan, hurridly flying off to Mt. Paozu. Turles paled, looking back at the group of girls.

"GET HIM!" one yelled, charging toward the scared saiyan.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Turles scampered off down the road with his arms flailing.

A large dust cloud of screaming fan girls followed him off into the distance, his screams echoing off the tall buildings as he made his escape. Raditz sat on top of a skyscraper, shaking his head as he watched the tiny dust cloud in the distance.

"That poor poor man. I feel his pain." The saiyan commented. He then flew off into the fluffy clouds toward Mt. Paozu having experienced another day of the strange life on Earth.

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_**END.**_

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Well, that's it. I hope you all liked this fic. Look out for my next one. That involves poptarts. ) 


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